I hate to sound melodramatic, but lettuce and I are enemies. It’s not that I don’t like eating salad—I do—it’s that I never eat salad fast enough before my lettuce gets “weird,” as in “not technically inedible but kind of limp and not-so-fresh looking.” This makes me feel like a failure, and I hate failure. Luckily, …
Hamilton, Ontario police have a major caper on their hands after thieves stole $45,000 worth of green—salad greens that is.
During the heist, which took place on April 1 (and no, this isn't a joke), robbers commandeered a refrigerated commercial truck loaded with thousands of dollars worth of lettuce. Before you go asking whether this was some kind of speciality, imported Japanese lettuce, hand-cut in the forests of Hokkaido: no, just the regular kind you cover in ranch dressing. Or blue cheese, if that's more your style.
Spotting a unique opportunity, the Hamilton police department jumped into action with their best and brightest...puns.
Through various social media outlets, HPD asked the public to "Romaine Calm," and solicited tips from the public about the heist, saying, "Lettuce know if you have any tips."
Read the full story at Munchies.
Life is full of mysteries. Some of them are simple, like, “If there’s a god, why is there evil in the world?” Others are far more illusive and can only be answered by the collective wisdom of the world wide web. On Monday, a poster on Reddit’s /r/taco_bell subpage inadvertently posed a question of the latter variety, observing, “The green stuff on the tacos is good.”
Wilted lettuce is usually thought of as the enemy of delicious salads, but intentionally wilting it (or “killing it,” as it is sometimes called) with bacon grease is a thing of beauty.